Moses Syndrome

The other day, my son and I were talking and he mentioned how hard it was for him to be part of a conversation at school. He gets tongue tied and stumbles over his words as he’s trying to make a point. The other kids look at him like he’s stupid and then the shunning starts.

I told him that I can relate to what he’s saying as I’ve got the same issue. You can always tell when someone isn’t connecting to the story that you are trying to tell because they don’t make eye contact and want to move away from what you’re trying to communicate.

Praying in public is another hard one for me. Dinner prayers aren’t an issue as I’ve got a good playbook full of them, but when it comes to off the cuff; I suck. When I’ve done the small group thing; couples or men; they usually will do the “lets go around the circle and pray” thing. This strikes panic into my heart. I usually spend the entire meeting thinking of something inspirational to say in my prayer. It never works and I end up stumbling over my words.

I call this Moses Syndrome. I believe he had the same issue because he even told God that he wasn’t that great with words and communicating. God basically gave him the Dr Phil approach and told him to “get over it”. The compromise must have been that Aaron was to do most of the talking in order to get the point across. Alot of good that did!

I’m thankful for this medium so that I can think about what I’m saying before it comes out.

Teaching Morality by Making Fun of Others.

I’ve heard it all. If you want your kids to grow up and be moral citizens, then you have to have heart to heart talks with them about how life works and where they fit in to it all. You need to take your kids out in the woods to teach them the ways of nature. You need to take them out to breakfast and discuss the facts of life.

Now while I’ve done some of these things, the best way I’ve found to teach morality is to make fun of others. Here’s an example.

A few years ago, I took my oldest ones out to the local state park to play. We were chasing each other around on the playground equipment when a group of teenagers walked by. All of the boys had their pants hiked down and the boxers were in full view. I told my kids that they boys were mimicking peacocks. “What?”, they questioned.

“Yes, those boys are just like male peacocks; they are trying to get attention from their female companions by showing off their feathers; but the sad part is that they have no feathers and must use their underwear instead.”

All of them started laughing out loud and pointing to the featherless males; so much so that the teens turned around with scowls on their faces. Have I ever had a problem with baggy underwear showing pants in my family? No!

Another time, the older kids and I were walking through a mall here in town and of course, you can’t help but come across a large poster of a female in her underwear.

This time, I tried to play on their sympathies. “Oh, isn’t that sad?”, I said.

“What?”, they replied.

“That woman in the poster over there, she must be very poor.” “She couldn’t afford anything but underwear and she must be very embarrassed that her photo was taken when she was naked.”

Of course, the kids then chime in with their own scenarios. “Yeah dad, maybe we can start a charity to help poor models like her to buy clothes that they so desperately need!”

You get the idea and guess what? Nobody around our house ever has worn a too skimpy outfit for fear of having a charity started in their name.

It may be unconventional, but it works. If you’ve got preteens, give it a try.

Thistles

Well it’s that time of year again. Out in the pasture, the thistles are starting to peak their ugly heads out of the ground just in time for me to twist them out of the ground with my trusty sprinkler valve tool. Thistles do a great job of bringing out my OCD. If I find one, I’ll not stop until the whole patch is rooted out. If that doesn’t help, then out comes the Roundup.

That really is the problem though. No matter what I do, I still can’t seem to get all of the root because the little buggers keep reappearing over and over until the snow flies. The only way I could get the roots out though is to get out a bulldozer and scrape all of the grass out (along with the first 3 feet of soil) and replace the whole thing with new weed free dirt. Other than that, it would take some kind of miracle to irradicate the vile weed.

I was listening to New Life Live the other day and they were talking about sin that keeps coming back because the root of the problem is never addressed. It may go away for a few days or even a season, but always seems to come back.

Hebrews 12:15 says; See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Isn’t that the truth. Whatever it is that is hiding dormant under ground will always resurface to cause trouble and defilement. I’m on a quest to rethink my sin patterns and try to figure out what is behind the surface issues at hand. For example, why is it that I over eat sometimes? I know that it is to curb some kind of anxiety, but now I’m on the lookout for what is the root behind it.

My Father

My heart aches today with the passing of Tim Russert. I would often wake up at 6am to watch him use politician’s words against them to see if they would squirm. Last year he released the book Wisdom of Our Fathers in which he published letters from readers about their fathers. So sad to see him pass just two days from Father’s Day.

I can remember my first essay in college writing class. I was about my relationship with my dad. I wish I had kept it so that I could compare what I felt back then to how I feel today some 20 years later. Let me tell you about my father.

He was born at home in 1930ish something in Kent, WA. I believe his parents were older when he was born; he also had a sister that was also quite older than he. So he basically grew up as an only child. He was a latch key kid. He would come home from school to an empty house; his mom was in Seattle working until late at night and his father was at the local bar getting drunk. Dad and my Grandma would attend church every week and I believe that this gave him a great deal of consistency and structure that he so desperately needed.

He met my mother one day at church where she was visiting from Canada and they fell in love. They had both come from chaotic homes and I think that both were somehow trying to escape to start their own life of stability.

After high school, my dad was drafted into the army and shortly thereafter he and my mom were married.  They sent him off to the newly divided Germany where he served as a medic for 2 years.

Upon returning home, he became a plumber’s apprentice to pay for his love of flying.  If you drive through Seattle today, he will point out the skyscrapers that he plumbed.  His last job before retirement was the remodel of the Key Arena in Seattle.  He always said, “Other peoples crap is my bread and butter”

Me and my brother came into the picture in the 60s.  We lived in Arizona and Washington as the economy went.

One thing that I learned from dad is to always do the right thing.  Many times I would see him make lifetime enemies because he took a stand on an issue he was convicted of.  Another thing for which I’m grateful is that he broke the chain of alcoholism to start a new life with a Christ centered family.  It’s funny, but I can remember when I was a kid, dad would always invite troubled kids over for dinner and to play with us.  My brother and I were scared of some of them, and I always wondered why dad would open his home to them.  I finally figured it out years later that he was inviting himself over; or at least a replica of himself.  He was reaching out to kids that he knew needed a dad that he wished he had had growing up.

He wasn’t by any means perfect.  He never asked for forgiveness except in extremely rare occasions and it was usually someone elses fault.  He was grumpy most of his life.  I think that this was due to bottled up feelings that he had accumulated through his childhood.  As he gets older though, he has softened greatly and I appreciate his relationship with my children.

My dad can start a conversation with a lamp and be best friends in 5 minutes.  He has the gift for reaching out to people and relating like no one else I know.

He still flies around the Seattle area in his airplane and is still in love with my mom.  They just recently celebrated 50 years together.

What else can I say, but happy Father’s Day.

The Blessing

My dad and I don’t get to sit down and talk very often. I’ve said on this blog before that around lots of people, he becomes Michael Scott of The Office. Around just a few, he’s a very engaging person who will always tell you how he feels on any subject.

We were alone and talking a few days ago and he told me how proud he was that I’ve done well. “I’m glad that you’ve taken charge of your life and have things under control”, he said. Of course, I told him it was no big deal, but inside, it felt great.

I think it was Smalley or Trent that wrote The Blessing a few years ago. In it, they talk about just this. How when your kids become adults, that they need to be sent off with a blessing from their parents; especially dad. While I’ve tried to do this with my kids as they grow up, I will have to be intentional and make it happen when they finally take charge of their lives in a few years.

Self Destruct Mode.

This has been a weird week. I had a set of relationship conflicts last weekend and thought I was doing good with my issue of being an avoider. Instead of running and hiding, I faced each problem with confidence and spoke my mind with what I thought was grace and truth. After the dust settled, I started to go into a downward spiral.

What I mean is that I got depressed and started doing self destructive behaviors like eating too much, watching bad stuff on TV, being grumpy with my family etc.  What I don’t get is that if I had avoided the issues, I would probably be in the same place of self destruction because of shame.  It’s like all of the energy got sucked out of me and I headed toward the comfort food buffet of life.

I wish I had some clever text from the Bible to explain this or at least to show how someone else went through the same thing and came out the other side, but I can’t think of any.

I’m hoping that at least by talking about it, that this will turn around.

The Ultimate Slide Show.

It’s funny, but when I look at my blog stats, people are far more interested in sex and relationships than they are technology. Than being said, this post is not about sex, so tune out if you must.

Last week was my son’s 8th grade graduation and he was in charge of the proverbial slide show. I had remembered listening to a podcast several months ago with a guy from Animoto who described his website as the place to go for the ultimate slide show.

So we gave it a whirl and it rocked! All you have to do is upload your photos and an mp3 file for the music and it does all the rest. The cool part is that it will analyze the music to determine the cadence and then show the slides to the beat of the music. It sends back a video file about 2 hours later and you just burn a DVD.

Needless to say, everyone was extremely impressed. I know graduation season is still among us, so if you’re in charge of media, then go to animoto.com and at least make yourself a free 30 second video to try it out.

The Parental Visit

So my parents are visiting for the weekend as my son is graduating from 8th grade.  They bring their motor home and park it in the driveway.  The only problem is that they drive my wife nuts.  And after they leave, she basically won’t speak to me for a couple of weeks while she simmers down.

My dad is very similar to Michael Scott from The Office.  Always saying inappropriate things although not on the same overt level as Michael.  The last time they visited, he climbed out of the car and said to me, “So are you still married?” in front of my wife.  Now I’m kind of slow, so I could only think of a good one liner a few days later, but having grown up in that atmosphere, I guess that I’m used to him saying stupid stuff like that.  My wife however isn’t.  She’s built up a 100ft wall between them and her and nothing short of a bolt of lightning striking all three of them could change that.

I’ve even gone so far as to write an email saying that we don’t want to be around them anymore and with my pointer on the send button and had my wife read it.  She backed down and it was erased, but these problems still persist.

I’m sure that they think she hates them and she thinks that they hate her.  Here is the curious thing however.  They are all Christians.  They both study the Bible and pray every day.  I grew up in their home, so I know.  They all go to church every week and are compassionate to others around them.  So lets just say that all of us died today and the next thing we know is that we are all in heaven.  Now if I read my Bible carefully the only thing that I’m taking with me is my character.  So when I get there and my parents are on one side of me in their mansion and my wife is on the other, will they still be at odds?

I’ve even gone so far as to tell God that I’d like to skip that whole eternal life thing if it means having to referee those closest to me for eternity.  Fortunately that is in my past, but the problem still persists.  Now I can hear some of you saying that they just need to sit down and talk things out.  Well they’ve tried that many times and nothing ever changes.  So we basically live life without their influence which I know their grand kids need; prickles and all.

Have you had an experience like this?  I’d like to hear from you.

The Curse of Jabez

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.

I think it was about 10 years ago when The Prayer of Jabez came out and caused a huge stir in the Christian community. I’ll admit, that I did the prayer of Jabez thing and asked God to do all these things on the list. And for the most part, I believe he answered that prayer.

The bad part is that I think he answered it too much. Back then when I prayed it, God gave me a new job where I didn’t have to travel anymore. He blessed me with a great bunch of kids. He moved us to a location where I eventually wanted to retire; closer to family. He moved us into a spectacular hobby farm where we could raise our own animals and not have to live in the city. I’m sure there are many more. Why is it then that I feel so overwhelmed now?

10 years ago, I could come home and leisurely go about my evening and watch a bit of TV before bed; now it seems like panic time every night. One of the animals is sick and needs to see the vet. The irrigation lines are in constant need of repair. The barn needs painting (5 years ago). The lawn needs mowing (we didn’t have an acre to mow in the desert; just desert). The driveway needs plowing daily in the winter. On top of all the emergencies, my wife and kids need one on one attention. Did I get blessed too much? Did Jabez feel overwhelmed when God granted his request?

If you read the story of the children of Israel and their new home in Caanan, the same theme emerges. Whenever God blessed them, they seemed to wander away from Him. Whenever he allowed other nations to invade them and take their stuff, they came back to Him. So why is it that God gives us good stuff and doesn’t keep us in a constant state of being cursed and more closer to Him? I think it has to do with what any father wants to do for his kids. What dad doesn’t go crazy at Christmas buying his kids stuff that he knows will be broken a few days later. It’s because he loves them and wants to shower them with blessings.

I think God does the same thing and hopes that we won’t lose our perspective of what is important. Do you ever watch Extreme Makeover where they find these needy folks, many of whom are involved heavily in their local communities where they volunteer and dedicate their lives to others. Well here comes ABC to give them a new 5000 square foot home that they now have to maintain on top of their other duties. I’m also sure that they groan every time they open up a property tax bill.

Maybe they should rename it to Pretty Good Makeover and not dole out so much blessing.

Just some thoughts. Now where did I put that sprinkler head?

Not a Good Day.

Bad news seems to come in twos. My wife called me at work today to tell me about the tragedy that has affected the Steven Curtis Chapman family in the loss of their daughter. That hung heavily on my heart all day as I’ve got a 5 year old who doesn’t seem to have a fear of cars.

The other news came this afternoon when I got a call from my friend who has been struggling with depression. See previous post. He’s doing much better with that, but had bad news about his wife. They both had cancer last year and seemed to come out of it ok but she just had a blood test and there were indications that it is back. They’ve set up further tests next week.

Lots to pray for.

BTW, here’s a video of her.